On Saturday night, after a grooving salsa concert at the Gardens, George and I cut through the rose garden area on our way to the city. That function venue there had something on so, being curious wee buggers, we wandered up to check it out.
\nIt was a wedding reception. The bride and groom were nowhere to be seen, so they must already have disappeared off into honeymoonland. We pegged one of the people dancing as the best man, and an older woman who joined them on the dancefloor was obviously the groom’s mother; a guy we ID’d as groom’s father was on the edge of the dancefloor kicking out some truly inspired and individual dance moves by himself. There were two bridesmaids on the dancefloor, one of them blonde and the other dark-haired, and best man clearly wanted to get with blondie. He was doing the making-a-fool-of-himself thing, and making conversation with everyone else who got near to him except for her. I’m just waiting for the right moment. And then I will strike! Watch me dance, I’m a legend!<\/i> She, for her part, was clearly waiting for him to make a move on her, any move – I’m a bridesmaid, how can any man resist me? (If I can’t pull as a bridesmaid, does that mean something is wrong with me?)<\/i> – and waiting and waiting, talking to a few other guys who fancied their chances but clearly weren’t in the running.
\nWe watched this unfolding for over half an hour. We could have watched more. It was pretty obvious that bestman and blondie weren’t going to hook up, because his right moment was never going to arrive in a form that he’d recognise, and she was already making all the moves she knew how to make by wearing a pretty dress and smiling at him. Sad, really – both keen but absolutely unable to put it together. But haven’t we all been there?
\nRule of thumb for girls wanting boys: be way more obvious than you ever imagined needing to be. If you maintain plausible deniability, he won’t get it. (Or just bloody well make the move yourself, of course.)
\nRule of thumb for boys wanting girls: be way more forward than you are comfortable with. If you’re comfortable, then you’re not actually making a move.
\nBonus explanation of other stuff:<\/i> This is, of course, part of the reason why there’s this guy-mythology that girls love assholes. Really, it isn’t that girls love assholes, its that girls fall for guys that actually make a move on them. Ye asshole, possessed of unwarranted self-confidence (itself born of lack of insight), he maketh the move, and he getteth the girl.
\nTomorrow: morgue explains Relations Between The Generations using for illustration a mildly amusing experience he had at the supermarket.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
On Saturday night, after a grooving salsa concert at the Gardens, George and I cut through the rose garden area on our way to the city. That function venue there had something on so, being curious wee buggers, we wandered up to check it out. It was a wedding reception. The bride and groom were … Continue reading Morgue Explains Relations Between The Sexes<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8D9ZE-4x","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=281"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}