{"id":366,"date":"2006-06-13T10:42:34","date_gmt":"2006-06-13T10:42:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/?p=366"},"modified":"2006-06-13T10:42:34","modified_gmt":"2006-06-13T10:42:34","slug":"on-living-with-a-cat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/?p=366","title":{"rendered":"On Living With A Cat"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have never lived with a cat before.  Thus, I don&#8217;t know how much of the following is idiosyncratic to this particular cat, or typical behaviour of the species; I suspect it&#8217;s mostly bloody typical.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>There are two important times of day for a cat: morning food time and evening food time.  Morning food time begins when the human awakes and ends when actually fed.  Evening food time begins as soon as morning food time ends, and ends when actually fed.  Then evening food time begins again and continues until the human goes to sleep or, absentmindedly, feeds the cat again (whereupon, I imagine, a third evening food time would immediately begin).<\/li>\n<li>Cats like to be friendly and companionable, except when you are not about to put food in their bowl.<\/li>\n<li>If you spend a great deal of effort getting a roaring fire going in the fireplace, then leave to fetch a rewarding cup of tea, the cat will have appeared in whichever spot you intended to use to enjoy the fireplace and have your cup of tea.  It will be asleep, but not so asleep that it cannot produce claws.<\/li>\n<li>If a cat puts a mouse on the floor before you, it means &#8216;you&#8217;re the boss&#8217;.  If it keeps the dead mouse in its mouth and glares at you while blood drips on to the floor, it means &#8216;you&#8217;re next&#8217;.<\/li>\n<li>If it&#8217;s howling wind and rain outside, the cat will want to be let out the door to see for itself.  Then it must be let back in immediately.  The cat door is at the other end of the house and thus of no use at all in any way.<\/i>\n<li>Cats really don&#8217;t understand why we do anything we do, which is a good prompt to remind ourselves that, usually, neither do we.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I am enjoying living with a cat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have never lived with a cat before. Thus, I don&#8217;t know how much of the following is idiosyncratic to this particular cat, or typical behaviour of the species; I suspect it&#8217;s mostly bloody typical. There are two important times of day for a cat: morning food time and evening food time. Morning food time &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/?p=366\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">On Living With A Cat<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8D9ZE-5U","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/366","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=366"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/366\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}