{"id":943,"date":"2008-11-05T17:26:15","date_gmt":"2008-11-05T17:26:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/?p=943"},"modified":"2008-11-05T17:26:15","modified_gmt":"2008-11-05T17:26:15","slug":"first-american","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/?p=943","title":{"rendered":"First American"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The <a href=http:\/\/wanisan.blogspot.com\/>Alligator<\/a> just phoned me. He said &#8220;I wanted to be the first American to tell you that we finally did something right.&#8221;<br \/>\nThis is a good day. (Even though the call cut off right after he said that. And he just called again and it died again.)<br \/>\nThe USA&#8217;s <a href=http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/content\/node\/28784>long national nightmare of peace and prosperity<\/a> may be about to return!<br \/>\n(Now, with a black man heading for the White House, they better get started on a comprehensive <a href=http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120647\/>meteor plan<\/a>. Hollywood has given us the warning, people!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Alligator just phoned me. He said &#8220;I wanted to be the first American to tell you that we finally did something right.&#8221; This is a good day. (Even though the call cut off right after he said that. And he just called again and it died again.) The USA&#8217;s long national nightmare of peace &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/?p=943\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">First American<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-943","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-everything-political"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8D9ZE-fd","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/943","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=943"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/943\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=943"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=943"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morgue.isprettyawesome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=943"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}