From The Morgue

We know because a Dominion Post headline tells us so. It headlined an article about the EU offering to support Iran if it agrees to an oversight program EU Calls Iran’s Bluff.
Now, sure, Iran may indeed be bluffing, or stalling for time, or engaging in other such normal and expected political behaviours. But I don’t think it’s the subeditor’s job to make that call, know what I mean?
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In other news, over on RPG.net, one chap is watching his way through Freaks and Geeks, and Stephen Lea Sheppard (who played Harris) is commenting. Nothing terribly interesting, but if you love that show as much as I do you’ll find it worth the click-through.
(Some geeks may be interested to know that Stephen wrote the free promo adventure for hit RPG Exalted 2nd ed, Return to the Tomb of Five Corners.)

(Before I begin: Matt has put in the final word on The Whisky. Includes good descriptions of the whiskies what was drunk, if you have an interest in that.)
After a most welcome breakfast of sweet, sweet crepes prepared by dutiful and beloved Jarratt, I proceeded back to Damon’s, and got stuck into final Rumpus 06 preparations. There was a lot of stuff to do, we were being quite unashamedly ambitious and the day had come. We were still putting things in place as the first guests were arriving – in fact, Leon and I went home to change and get ready when there were already a dozen people arrived, and by the time we got back the place was packed. So we kinda missed the start of our own party. Very classy 🙂
THE RUMPLETRON REVEALED!
We wanted the Rumpus to get people dancing and get people mingling. Key to this whole process was the Rumpletron, our 1980 ex-military party computer. The Rumpletron sat in a side room, waiting for input. It asked for your name, then it asked you three questions. Based on your answers, it would guess whether you were a boy or girl, then assign you a tribe and give you a party name. You scribble the name on a nametag sticker and you’re ready to rumpus!
Everyone was into it. People loved the Rumpletron. New arrivals were dragged into the room pretty fast. Some people got extra Rumpletron names for their shoes, their shoulders or their breasts. Everyone wanted to know what tribe people were in and what questions people had been asked.
This was cool. So we ended up with lots of people wandering around with silly nametags. In its ineffable electronic wisdom, the Rumpletron put almost everyone into Tribe Voltron, so the two or three people in Tribe Miami Vice had extra talking point status all night. It broke down a lot of barriers, and there was plenty of mingling. Everyone had a name to call other people by, and everyone had a conversation opener, and it was so stupid it wrapped all the way around to awesome again.
Good job, Rumpletron. (Shout outs to Toby and Damon for the hard yards in getting the Rumpletron 2006-compliant!)
THE DANCEFLOOR!
Apa (aided and abetted by his lovely partner Gemma) and Brent were our two DJs, and they got a dancefloor going sure enough. I saw healthy crowds dancing for both of them, even though they were playing quite different stuff. I didn’t spend much time in the dance room, but it seemed there was a good vibe coming from there all night, which is great. A dancefloor with people dancing is the heart of a party.
The smoke machine helped.
OTHER STUFF
Other things the Rumpus had:
* a graffiti wall with coloured felt-tip pens, which became covered with all sorts of scribble and nonsense as the night went on
* a freaky blacklight bulb in the toilet, and other coloured bulbs in every other room
* a make-out room, mostly taken over by chill-out people
* a chapel, complete with patron saint, at the bottom of the garden, but still linked into the soundsystem
* an outdoorsy bit that people actually used
* only two cases of overindulgence
* mannequins
Oh, and last but not least,
* free beer
IT WAS GOOD
It may, in fact, have been the best party I’ve ever helped throw. It’s up there. People liked it. There were disappointments assuaged. There were amusing pirates (one , two). There was a glowstick thief. There was a terrifying extrovert-to-extrovert positive feedback loop. There was microwave Jesus and the surprising truth about President Reagan. There were random kisses. There was at least one instance of crowd-surfing.
It was fantastic, and I was sad when it ended.
So. A mighty thank you to Damon, who volunteered to provide a venue for my long-mooted party, didn’t freak out when I said I wanted to invite ‘everyone’, and then not only became full and righteous co-host but became way more ambitious than I could ever have dreamed. You are the awesome, my friend.
(Read his writeup of the Rumpus here.)
And a second one to Leon, who was really the third host of the party, and who rocked my personal kasbah with his excellent handiwork and smart ideas about making things happen. Not to mention his fearsome hard work at the eleventh hour. Thanks bro. (All y’all should go and worship him a bit on the ‘Leon is a God’ website, here.)
And a third one to all the others who stepped in and stepped up, making contributions large or small – Toby, Apa, Gemma, Brent, Karlene, Clare, Anton, Nick, Lucas, Dave Stewart… umm… I must have forgotten someone.
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Rumpus 07, anyone?

Now that the Rumpus is over, the Rumpus venue is in want of a flatmate. Damon is looking for someone – here are the details he emailed me:
Double room in Petone, free wireless interweb, $100 per week + expenses. Would prefer to share cooking and food. Must be house trained. Must like bright colours.
Interested? Give me an email, I’ll pass your details on. I’m on morgue@gmail.com.

It was a good weekend.
Friday began with some Good Work News, and proceeded with a healthy dose of Spending Damon’s Money, a bout of Coffee With Friend, and finished with something I’d been looking forward to for some time: The Whisky. Frank, Jarratt, Matt M and myself gathered at Jarratt & Evie’s place and drank many kinds of whisky and chatted in a civilised fashion, and it was bloody marvellous. Frank writes well of The Whisky on his LJ, here, giving due respect to the ancient and revered ThisWayThatWay system and the wonders of the Sicilian Horn.
But before I departed to The Whisky, there was one more big positive. I received an email from Edinburgh, alerting me to a bunch of short movies available for my downloading and viewing pleasure. Hardly able to believe my eyes, I watched as the title rolled up on the main feature, a 6 minute short entitled: Rumpus 06: The Edinburgh Footage. I watched as my dear friends in my other home town made their contribution to the Rumpus, with the balancing, the giggling, the catatonia, the toilet, the dubious BMI information, the arranging and the rearranging and, and, and…
Seriously, I just about cried, from the laughter and also the sheer amount of missingness going on. And I just watched it all again and almost cried again. (My name was even written how I like to write it. No-one else has ever put the line on the o before.) I was completely stunned. I still am, actually.
It was awful to leave my friends in Edinburgh behind. If I’d been going anywhere but here I don’t think I could have done it. It’s one of the curses of the traveller – if you do it right, you condemn yourself to sadness for the rest of your life, because you can never be in all the places you want to be.
But, hell, to have such people in my life as I have, it’s worth it.
Thanks, Gregor, Malc, Cat, John, Steve. I miss you incredible. You made my week, and considering how good the rest of my week was, that’s really saying something.
So that was Friday. Saturday… it was time for the rumpus. That’s the next post.

Just back home from a Rumpus prep session. This party on Saturday night is gonna be special. Over on LJ people are discussing what to wear.
I’m excited about it, enough to take a moment and think back over some of the other parties I’ve hosted.
Olden Days
I lived at home until I finished University. It was cheap. I never had a student loan. Instead, I have an unfeasibly large collection of roleplaying books. Hurrah for staying at home!
My First House Party
Parents went away. Invited lots of people around. There was drinking. Not understanding beer, I bought some Bighorn for people to drink. No-one drank the Bighorn. Until the end, when people became desperate. Infamous for late-night drunken Kieran panicking about Champ the Raccoon falling off a wheel. And then he just got back on! And then he just fell off again! Poor Champ the Raccoon.
My 21st
Took over a bar. Loads and loads of people. I still occasionally hear gossip about things that happened at my 21st. I drove several people home at the end of the night, on account of being stone sober and completely single. Huh. Such is life. Infamous for being the one where I had to kick out all the underagers. (I had thought it sorted. Turned out, not.) That felt… not so wonderful.
The Brooklyn Years
Then I moved to Todman St, Brooklyn. Ah, the Todman St flat. Such a wonderful place. Five large bedrooms, a gigantic kitchen for kitchen parties, and cool flatmates. We did good parties there, hell yeah.
Halloween 1999 and 2000
For two years running we had the best damn Halloween parties in the city. Everyone came in freaky costume. In ’99 we had bubble wrap everywhere. Pearce leant his spooky mojo to these gigs, and when he moved elsewhere, the Halloween vibe went with him, as it should. Nota bene, that Pearce cat delivers on the Halloween front. Infamous for: Adrian standing in the middle of the road wearing a cow mask. That was freaky. (Also: me topless.)
The Jon Ball
Fancy invitations to this one, a ball in honour of new flatmate Jon Ball. He turned up late and steaming to his own gig. Heh. Infamous for: Jon not being there, and then Jon being there very very drunk, and just generally infamous for Jon. Hi JB!
Pigphone Party
Communication is divine,
but not for swine.
Except the phonepig!
In the kitchen was a whiteboard. Chuck drew a picture on the whiteboard. The picture was a phone. The phone looked like a pig. So we had a party! Infamous for: being the one no-one can explain. Two people came in costume as phonepigs, and I will love them for it forever.
The Stay Human Party
In the wake of 9/11 everyone was feeling pretty stressed. This, our mellowest party, was called in order to give everyone a chance to re-ground themselves in the wonderful community of our friends. Infamous for: setting a positive tone and just being a nice night.
The Survivor Party
This one was ambitious. Downstairs, everyone mingled and mixed and drank and watched TV, because the TV showed what was unfolding upstairs – a live transmission of a Survivor contest! Over the course of the evening, we whittled down ten contestants to five, then three, then finally two, who faced the votes of the other contestants to determine the winner. The prize: a night for two in one of Welly’s swank hotels! JB and I co-hosted, and Dan Rabarts spent four hours with a camera on his shoulder – hero! Infamous for: come on, do I really need to say? No-one else in the world ever had a party like this. (Also, I’ve got the whole thing on video. Not kidding. Two tapes worth.)
Treadraze and the Funkatechtonic Grindwarriors
Previously, I’d convinced everyone to make one party’s theme be the nonsensical ‘phonepig’, and that worked out okay. This time I didn’t even consult the flatties about party name and theme and stuff, I just sent out a frankly ludicrous invitation email. And yet people came anyway. Infamous for: a friend who responded to my invite with “morgs, I love you like a brother, but sometimes I have absolutely no fucking idea what you’re on about.”
The Shove Off Party
After nearly four years of good service, the Todman St flat was coming to an end, and Leon and I were preparing to head off to see the world. And so the Shove Off party was called, to raise a glass to good times past and good times yet to come. It was sad. It was wistful. It was exciting. It was wild. It was a good way to call it a day. Infamous for: being the last one.
I think there were one or two other Todman St events but I’m blanking on them right now. And I can remember a bunch of really memorable things at Todman St parties, but not which parties they belong to. Most of the things are kinda scandalous anyway, so better with the not-posting I feel. (And there was one other party of particular note, just before I left the country, but it wasn’t open-invite so I’m not gonna rave about how cool it was.)
I love parties, I believe in parties, getting lots of good people all under one roof smiling and talking and meeting each other – it’s magic. And there’s nothing I like better than seeing friends of mine become friends with other friends of mine. That’s right, people, build a network! Become a community! I loves it!
So I’m really excited about this little Rumpus we’ve got coming. I’m back on home turf and it’s time to get back in the game. Let’s get it started…
Rumpus 06 – 7 East St, Petone – Saturday. The Rumpletron’s expecting you.

I’ve updated my linkyland sidebar. So many links now. But they are all the goodstuff, yahuh.
Prep for the Rumpus proceeds apace. There will be smoke, and possibly mirrors, but not at the same time. And the dancing, yes yes.
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From The Onion:
I’m Doing My Inconsequential Part For The Environment
As human beings continue to wreak havoc on the ecosystem, with seemingly no awareness of the long-term effects of our shortsighted actions, we seriously jeopardize the fragile balance of life on this big blue marble we call Spaceship Earth. Now is the time to take steps toward creating a cleaner environment, however insignificant and useless those steps may be… Together, we can make an unbelievably negligible difference.
Discuss.

I have a new laptop. It whizzes. The five-year guarantee I sprung for two years ago? Good plan, yes indeedy. I like my new laptop. (Asus A6U, Turion 64, 768MB.)
In fact, a general positive nod is in order for both PC World in the UK, who were good with the service and prompt with the cheques, and Dick Smith Electronics here in NZ, who were a joy to deal with when my mother’s new laptop started giving her trouble and who got my business for this one as a result. Nice to have positive retail experiences, yahuh.
I have lots of blog posts waiting for posting, but I’ve been so disconnected from the net these past weeks/months that it’ll take me a bit to get up to speed. Nae bother, I’ll find my feet again. In the meantime, I’m just all excited about the big party on Saturday – it’s my first proper party-hosting since the Shove Off party in 2002, and it’s gonna be choice.
I’ve also really got to see about updating my blogroll. Some of that’s out of date and there’s several other cool people/places needing to be added. All in good time…
Read recently, and worth reading:
‘Jay and Silent Bob’ Kevin Smith tells the tale of his buddy Jay’s battle with drug addiction. Worthwhile, sobering, and often very damn funny. It starts here.
(My attention was bounced this way by the estimable Theron)
And courtesy Pearce, Harlan Ellison delivers the only life lessons you will ever need.
Come to the rumpus.

Click Here For Full Invite Experience
++ Rumpus 06 ++
The world’s first electronic party commander wants you!
The Rumpletron has only one function – to party! Damon and morgue invite you and your friends to the wildest rumpus of the year. Wellington’s finest DJ selectors will keep the vinyl spinning so you can keep your body moving. There will be mayhem and mystery and many good people.
Complete the circuit. Come to Rumpus 06.
Saturday May 13, at 7 East Street, Petone, from 7.30pm.
More information, including map and travel details, at http://biggeek.co.nz/rumpus06/
++ welcome to the Rumpletronic age ++
http://biggeek.co.nz/rumpus06

“We’re in Dahab, on the Red Sea coast. The wind blows fresh off the ocean
right through the beach-side restaurants where travellers sit around low
tables, drinking milkshakes and listening to the music, invariably illegal
MP3s of obscure hip hop and house being run through a dodgy PC protected
from the elements by a muslin cloth. It’s a weird town – the kind of Egypt
that advertises specials for ANZAC day.”
– morgue at large email, April 25 last year
“At least 23 people – including three foreigners – have been killed and 62 wounded in three blasts in the Egyptian resort town of Dahab, officials say.
The explosions occurred in a bustling area popular with tourists during the early evening when many people would have been out in cafes and restaurants.”
– BBC News report, April 25 this year.

I had a nice idea to mark ANZAC day in this blog by posting an entry from my great-grandfather’s war diaries. But I didn’t organise myself so the idea alone will have to stand in for now.
(Overseas folk: ANZAC day is when we honour the sacrifices made in war. It takes place on the day of the Gallipoli landings. It’s a pretty important day in the NZ and Oz calendars.)
That said, I didn’t have any contact with any ANZAC celebration today – I was running around doing all sorts of other things. And was not motivated enough to get up for the dawn service. Maybe next year.
There’s lots of other stuff going on, such as prep for the 48 hour film challenge and me learning to play Ultimate, but most important is the news that I won’t be in slowville much longer. I have a cheque in the mail for a replacement laptop, and it should be more than sufficient. Excellent. More news once I’m fully enabled.