Predators (USA, 2010)

Yeah, so, remember how I was all down on cinema and not interested in movies? Well we had a sporting break on another cheap night, and when the invitation came down to go see Predators, I couldn’t resist. After all, I have much love for the original film and its under-rated sequel, and it’s been a long time since we’ve seen the dreadlocked hunters in action. Because there have been no films featuring them since the 90s. None.

And it was mostly a great popcorn flick. I enjoyed it, on average. Some of it I really enjoyed. Some of it I was bored. The whole final battle made no sense at all, as did the introduction of a second variety of Predators who act exactly the same as the first variety, except they maybe squat-and-roar-in-triumph a bit more often. Having the classic monster humbled by the new monster is a fine way to garner cheap heat, but nothing at all was done with it.

But! Exactly as advertised, there were a bunch of morally-dubious anti-heroes being stalked and killed one-by-one by alien hunters, and that was fine by me.

The highlight: when all the cast gather ’round as one of their number spends a full minute describing, in some detail, the complete plot of the original film.

The other highlight: realizing that the key moment in the trailer wasn’t actually in the movie, but was a quite different movie scene digitally altered specifically to create that key moment in the trailer.

The recommendation: watch as a cheap video with friends, or as a cheap movie with friends, or don’t, because whatever. Actually, watch Predator 2 again, because Danny Glover and Gary Busey, that’s why.

So I guess I’m cured, right?

The Knifeman, following that earlier movie-blah post, sent me a challenge to only watch unpopular movies for six months. “At the end, your view of movies will almost certainly be altered forever.” It’s tempting, but I’m going to decline, if only because I don’t want to spend the last six months I have before baby arrives banned from watching movies that might be good…

I invite him to share the details of this challenge, or speak more of the value of such an exercise, if he is so moved.

12 thoughts on “Predators (USA, 2010)”

  1. There have been Aliens Vs Predator films since the 90s.

    They’ve actually been quite good, and have developed the series background, especially around the Weyland-Yutani connection, considerably.

  2. You’ve tried to trick me like that before, mundens, but I’m wise to you! Ho ho ho, “Aliens vs Predator” made into a movie? Everyone knows that was stalled in development hell, and probably a good thing too!

    *la la la fingers in ears la la la*

  3. Re: Regaining that cinema love.

    Evie and I went to Lighthouse Pahatanui on the weekend and I was reminded of what is good about cinema. It was nice, it was cosy and yet it felt like a movie theatre from the golden age. It was great.

    I would definitely go there again.

  4. I once dreamed that I saw an Aliens vs. Predator movie and that it was one of the 2 or 3 worst movies I had ever seen in my life. In my dream, it was written & directed by the same mentally-deficient drooling child who had been responsible for excreting such utter wastes as Mortal Kombat and Event Horizon.

    In my dream (nightmare really) the movie ended with a seemingly endless scene featuring a woman and a Predator running away from explosions, in a complete mockery of the idea of an entertaining climax.

    The nightmare ended with the revelation that there was a sequel to this movie that was even worse.

    I was so very glad when I woke up and found that it had never happened, because if it were true that such a movie were popular enough to spawn a sequel then my faith in the human race’s ability to tell good from bad would be damaged forever.

  5. Your dream (nightmare really) of Aliens vs Predator sounds exactly like my one of X-Men 3.

  6. But Morgue, should they make a ‘Predatorses’ (Predator^3?) on the strength of this movie?

    Actually that doesn’t make sense. They’ve already ruined the Aliensness of the title sequence for this franchise as this should have been Predator^3 and the next one would be Predator Resurrection, except THIS movie is technically the resurrection ahhh I can’t stand the confusion in my mind!!!

    New question: How many AvP movies were made – two or three? Would creating an AvP trilogy if it hasn’t already been made one silence that beast? Could we then encase it in concrete and dump it into a Martian canal or plug an oil leak with it?

    Serious question: And speaking of dreams, did I actually dream or really read years ago that there was talk of an Aliens vs Species movie/comic/game/Happy Meal?

  7. Pearce/Jarratt: I think I had those dreams too.

    Jet: Predator -> Predator 2 -> Predators -> Predatorious

    Or maybe, Predatori.

    There were two illusory AvP movies made, plus four comic series, plus three novels.

    Aliens vs. Species isn’t something I’ve ever heard of. I doubt they could play together, Aliens is 20CFox, Species is MGM property. Giger would approve though.

  8. Cheers Morgue – it must have just been the Giger thing that associated them (or I read it on embryonic AintitCool or even Coming Attractions? Google gives zip!)

    Onward and upward! Predator versus Space Jockey!

    Or get Clint in on the next sequel – Predatorino.

    Or Hanks and Jude Law? The Road to Predation?

    What’s that? My coat? Why thankyou kind sir…

  9. Haha, The Road To Predation is gold. 🙂

    The long title for the current movie is Predators: Hunt for the Blood Orchid, right?

  10. Actually, a sequel to any biopic where the subject had to take on a Predator would be great.

    ALI vs Predator

    Malcolm X vs Predator

    Frost/Nixon vs Predator

  11. I figure I should actually comment on being referenced in this post…

    The challenge was a one-time-only deal and I won’t go into it, but I firmly believe that if you spend a prolonged period of time only watching movies that “nobody likes” – especially if they’re also movies that “nobody saw” – you’ll start to develop a completely new appreciation for movies.

    What will basically happen is that you’ll start to realise that popular notions – including your own – of what constitutes “good” or “bad” in movies has less to do with any objective sense of quality, than with what you are used to watching. Familiarity with certain ways of making movies will have conditioned you to believe that these are the “only” ways to make movies without going completely avant-garde.

    If you watch enough “bad” movies, while many of them will simply seem like a waste of time, things that previously would have seemed like mistakes will start appearing as aesthetic choices.

    This is a revelation that obsessive followers of a particular genre experience all the time. As a one-time obsessive of horror movies – I spent years watching every single horror movie it was possible for me to find, given the limitations of my location and access to movies – I started to get really impatient with the limitations of popular, acclaimed movies. I now have a lot of difficulty getting enthusiastic about any big-budget Hollywood movie, whether it’s an action movie or an Oscar-winner. Even most of the ones people love usually strike me as shallow and formulaic: the cinematography, use of music, editing, and acting styles remain much the same from movie to movie.

    Given what I’ve just said, you might think that you could get a similar effect by watching only non-Hollywood movies. But if this was the only decision you made, you’d probably end up watching either lots of non-Hollywood movies that imitate Hollywood techniques – because these are the kinds of indie and “foreign” movies that tend to get wde distribution, and without a commitment to the obscure you’ll almost certainly default to these – or else you’ll find yourself attracted to a particular different aesthetic and fall into the same trap with a different formula.

    The only route that really works, in my opinion, is to concentrate on the movies that everyone else is ignoring. You could pick a genre you usually have no interest and watch every dvd in your local in as arbitrary an order as possible – perhaps alphabetically by title. You could go through Leonard Maltin’s video guide and only watch movies with a BOMB rating. You could come up with your own method. Whatever. But if you’re bored with the movies you’ve been seeing, the problem is almost certainly that you’ve settled far too often for the same thing yet again.

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