Courtesy Susan, here’s the answer to a longtime source of strife for cohabiting mixed-gender couples…
A GAME THEORETIC APPROACH TO THE TOILET SEAT PROBLEM
It explores and resolves the problem using such impeccable logic as this:
Criterion (2) seems plausible. It requires, however, that Marsha put the seat in the up position after performing a toilet operation some percentage of the time. No instance of this behaviour has ever been observed in recorded history; ergo this criterion can be ruled out.
At last, a world without toilet seat strife is possible.
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Illustrious Leader has upgraded the AdditiveRich posse to a new version of Movable Type, which I am only just beginning to explore. How exciting! Thanks are once again due to him.
Sorry, but that approach to the toilet seat thing doesn’t take the consequences of either party (half-asleep in the middle of the night, or if drunk, etc.) failing to notice that the toilet seat is not in their preferred position.
These consequences are *much* worse for M than for J, so the weightings may need to be altered to reflect this.
The problem with this approach, as with so many, is that it fails to take into account the effects of gravity.
Also, as Maire notes in her astute, yet misguided, analysis above, costs may vary. Of particular importance, to my mind, is the cost of moving the toilet seat before v the cost of moving it after the relevant number has been performed.
When one is in a hurry (‘busting’) to make use of the toilet facilities, every extra action counts. So the cost of moving the seat before is much higher than moving it after, at which point it approaches zero.
Moreover, moving the toilet seat up requires bending down, picking it up, lifting it, and resting it against the cistern. Moving the seat down, particularly when one is in a hurry requires little more than a flick of the hand which can be adopted into the standard motions required to de-trou oneself in preparation for action. This cost therefore als approaches zero.
So, it can be seen that the highest and by far the most significant cost is incurred when, before the motion is performed, the toilet seat is required to be raised.
Hence, it would be best for all concerned if the seat could be lifted up after use. Or, as I like to put it after a couple of drinks, “Give us a break, girls, gravity is on your side!”