Can’t say I have any fond feelings towards the Hoyts cinema in Lower Hutt that just closed, and is eulogised by Judge/Jury and Off-Black. Even when it was new it was disappointing. It was the scene of my first date, and of numerous other fond memories, but I can’t spread the rosy glow of those times to the venue itself.
My fondest memory of Hoyts Lower Hutt: going to see The Last Action Hero there. This is a movie that showed promise in its first half-hour as a satire of ridiculous action movie cliches, then quickly degenerated into another example of the genre it was supposed to be mocking. By the halfway mark, it was quite incredibly bad.
I remember seeing it with a friend in a mostly-full cinema, and at about the half-way mark, the sound cut out. Suddenly the whole audience was sitting there watching a silent movie.
At first, no-one moved.
Then, after a minute, it became apparent no-one was going to move. No-one went to shout at ushers and ask for the sound to be put back on and for money back. Everyone just remained in their seats. No-one wanted to hear the movie. Conversations started, laughter started bubbling up, everyone was suddenly having a much better time. We went through a full 20 minutes before a projectionist noticed what was up and got the sound going again. By that time, the audience was a lost cause, merrily nudging each other and chatting away through the remainder of the film, then happily going downstairs to get a voucher for a free trip next time.
I’ve still never heard the soundtrack for that 20 minutes of Last Action Hero. Can’t say I really consider that a situation worth rectifying.
—
Yes, posting mostly inconsequential stuff. It is a busy week this week.
5 thoughts on “Farewell, Hoyts”
Comments are closed.
Hoyts Hutt was a one-star movie theatre and I won’t miss it. My only good memory of it was noticing that they listed Starship Troopers as SS Troopers.
Crappy screening rooms, crappy sound damping between screening rooms, and really crappy audiences who seemed to hate movies. I have no nostalgia. It was a hole.
And the floors int the cinemas were really sticky (at least they were when I worked there for a year).
The one movie I saw there was Bond, with the Piñata King himself!
The last film I saw there was Fellowship of the Ring, on it’s day of release in 2001.
There were a row of teenagers behind me that loudly commented “GAY!” whenever anything vaguely emotional occured.
Sums up Hoyts in the Hutt, really.
I would have turned around and said “Will you queers shut up?”