‘Twas the night before Hagermas, and all through the motu
Folks posted their reckons, some random, some thought through;
The liveblogs were hung on the news-sites with care,
In hopes that our Nicholas soon would be there.
The Bluesky crowd nestled all snug in their bubble
And dreamed of the TPU getting in trouble;
While Unity Booksellers laid out the seating,
Preparing for crowds at the book-launching meeting.
Then out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains and opened the sash.
The streetlights were shining and down on the road,
A van had skid-spun around, spilling its load
Then what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a bright eager man with some tiny rein-deer.
He set to reloading with movements so quick,
I knew then and there that he must be our Nick.
His boxes of books had been tossed all about,
So he set his fine coursers to work with a shout:
“Now, Tipster! now, Finder! now Searcher and Sneaker!
On, Ethics! on, Standards! on, Rawshark and Leaker!
Restack this book load, put the carriage to wheel!
We must be on time for our cover reveal!”
In a magical flurry the coursers set to,
Leaving books neatly stacked looking creaseless and new,
And the heavy van righted, quite ready to drive,
Now I knew the new Nicky would safely arrive.
Hager spoke not a word, but went hard to his work,
And surveilled the vehicle; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger to rest on his lips,
He fixed his eyes on me, and silenced my quips.
Then he sprang to his van, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a deer-guided missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he raced out of sight—
“Merry Hagermas all, and to all a good night!”
[International friends: Nicky Hager is an independent journalist down here in Aotearoa who likes to drop a book of explosive revelations on the eve of an election. As is traditional, no-one has any idea what tomorrow’s book will be about.]